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| I guess I'm writing a lot of hate blogs... well, I guess I write when I have a lot of emotions and that happens to be now...
The people on YouTube don't know what they're talking about... at least 99.9% don't anyway. I posted a comment regarding a dance choreography, which expressed my very honest observation. Apparently, it was not well received and many people disagreed with it. But they didn't have anything to say about it. I guess they only disagreed but didn't know how to counter it because I was right.
Well, I got a really bad feeling from that I guess they just like the performers and anyone who spoke against it was definitely not liked. Hmm... I don't know about you, but I love things and do not disregard what people.
Now I know, YouTube people do not know what they're talking saying in the comments, really. But I've found some interesting people, they are just watching the more sophisticated videos... that's all I have to say.
Even though I do not like the haters, I love everybody. :)
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| This entry is about a fan group called: The Glamberts on American Idol forum.
At first, I had fun reading the Adam Lambert threads about how much they love him and gush over him. I laughed so much as I could resonate with a lot of what they said. I thought they were some of the most articulate and intelligent people....
But once I became a member and started posting my own threats, comments and replies, it seems clear to me now that the Glamberts or Adam Fans appear to be a bunch of fat whiny, bitchy, immature and ugly woman and teeangers!
It's disgusting!
It seems like if you express an opinion that doesn't match theirs, they write their replays in a very bitchy manner. All they do is push their ego driven agendas and opinions and bash anyone with an opposing view. They write like haters, expressing desperation, paranoia, and fears that make me sick to my stomach.
I LOVE Adam Lambert, but I don't want to be a part of his "FAN CLUB: THE GLAMBERTS" because they are a group of bitchy, PMSing, group of whiners. I hate them because they are totally the opposite of what Adam Lambert represents: Giving, Egoless, Listener, Honest, Caring, Sincere, loving, compassionate, patient, talented etc.
The Glamberts could never understand the person that Adam is. Yes, they acknowledge he's talented and all that, but they don't know what he's been through and what it's like to be in his shoes. They don't know what it's like to be talented, passionate and live a life where everyone else is putting you down for it. They could never fully comprehend his talent, his love, or his passion. The Glamberts do not have a passion for Adam nor do they truly love him. They love the way they feel when they watch him or hear him, but would they have been able to relate to the person? My answer is no. These are the same people who put down other's who are different.
I LOVE YOU ADAM!
I didn't understand the Glamberts until now. I LOVE you Adam. You probably have the most vocal and supportive fans in the world, but the GLAMBERTS are just really crazy, bitchy, self-hating, agenda pushing, ego driven people who have no direction or passion in life. I don't blame you for keeping them at arm's length. Your other fans, like the LAMBERTGHINIS seem like really cool people who do represent you in a positive light. Unlike the Glamberts, you needn't feel ashamed of the Lambertghinis -- they are the real deal.
So to all you GLAMBERTS out there: I know that Adam thanked you for being so "vocal and supportive" but hasn't read your threads. If he did, he would be sick to his stomach like I am AND he would disown you. In fact, he probably did if he hasn't already. He doesn't like people like the GLAMBERTS. You people are MEAN! Face it. Adam doesn't like you! In fact, he feels ashamed of you. Adam will not be mentioning you guys again in another interview, that I can assure you. GLAMBERTS, go to hell.
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| I'm sorry for all the things I've done. I've not listened to you. I listened to myself. My own selfish desires. I am truly sorry for everything I did. I wish that I could be more gentle and reaffirming so that you can receive the best and only the best out of me, thank you spirit for your unconditional love. | | |
| I'm sorry for all the things I've done. I've not listened to you. I listened to myself. My own selfish desires. I am truly sorry for everything I did. I wish that I could be more gentle and reaffirming so that you can receive the best and only the best out of me, thank you spirit for your unconditional love. | | |
| At the tender age of 15 I became a prostitute.
Since I was verbally and emotionally abused and neglected since the day I was born, prostitution came naturally to me. Prostitution became a part of life. I was a total prostitute and I couldn't live without being a prostitute. Being a prostitute was the only way I knew how to get what I wanted. Since the age of 15, I went from being abused to abusing myself. I allowed other people (not only my parents) to misuse and abuse me. I offered myself to anyone who would take me.
This part of my life sadens me to a great extent. How could anyone abuse a young and innocent child? How could anyone abuse a beautiful soul? How could anyone take advantage of the talents and gifts of a naive teenager? Well, I keep asking myself that, over and over again. It doesn't make sense. It hurts me to think about this... but I want to share.
I was the girl who loved to dance. Dance was my escape. Dance made me happy. Dance gave me everyone I wanted and more. It was a way for me to live a fun and exciting life. Dance was life. It was the fuel and fed the flame of desire for love. It give me self-respect, love, admiration. At age three, I remember thinking that I had found 'it'.
Although my life was full of lies, mistrust, abuse, and neglect, dance was the only thing that kept me motivated. I danced in my back yard for hours. I sang songs, I danced in my living room, I danced in the grocery store, I danced anywhere and everywhere. I wasn't encouraged or discouraged. I was left alone. Dance was MY thing and no one was going to take that away from me.
Then I really began to get good at dancing. I got so good in fact, that I advanced more in three years then what my peers did in seven. I focused all of my talent, energy, and positivity in dance. I wanted to be the best. I wanted to succeed. And most of all, I wanted to be 'popular.'
My parents got wind of my new found 'freedom' and they decided to take advantage of it.
My parents forced me to perform dance whenever we went out -- to parties, to social gatherings. I was pressured, forced, to dance barefoot on cold cement floors wearing nothing more than a bikini. My parents LOVED the attention they were getting from family and friends, but I was deeply confused and upset. I didn't want to perform for THEM. I wanted to perform for MYSELF. Dance was MY pleasure, not THEIRS. Dancing was the only thing that kept me sane living an isolated and abusive life. Dance was the only thing that kept me feeling ALIVE!
Now, dance was no longer my personal satisfaction. It was my parents. As simple or as strange as it might sound, the only thing that I loved so much was taken away from me. Now, I had nothing. I didn't want to dance anymore. I didn't want to perform anymore. But it was too late. I had already given myself up. I had already misused my talents and sacrificed my self-respect for the sake of personal gain (love, attention, approval). I had already become a prostitute.
I didn't know how to say no. Dance teaches you to always say 'yes' to learn and to grow. To listen to your teachers and apply what they tell you to make good. But my parents were my financial sources to keep my dream of dancing alive. I was afraid if I said 'no' to their demands that they would cut off the only outlet I had to the outside world (I didn't go out anywhere other than to dance class, literally). So I complied to any and all of their requests.
It might not sound as bad as it was, but if you were locked inside your room your whole life wife an abusive family, then you too would be a little crazy too.
I trusted my parents to guide and protect me. I put complete faith in their 'love' for me. Boy, was I wrong! They never really loved me. How could they? They didn't love themselves. They hated each other. Constant fighting. Constant battles over nothing.
By the time I was 15 years old, I was ready for anything. My dance skills were excellent. I was a ball of clay ready to be molded into anything. Unfortunately, my parents were NEVER going to let me go. I had outgrown every dance school in the area. There was nothing for me in town that would challenge my skills. The only place to go was out of town and my parents wouldn't have it.
I began to hate them.
How could I work so hard for so many years and then hear my parents say they were never going to help or support me (emotionally or financially) if I decided to travel and learn dance somewhere else. I needed to get out, to go to a professional dance school, professional teachers, but my parents didn't want me to leave. They didn't trust me. They didn't want me to succeed. They didn't want me to become independent in any shape or form. They wanted me to stay. They didn't want me to learn to drive. They didn't want me to make friends. They wanted to isolate me forever. I wanted to die.
I was a young, talented, and beautiful dancer. I wanted to fly. I wanted to break free from my home and become successful, independent. I wanted to learn, to grow. But my parents didn't want to let me go... and I was afraid to leave. By this time, my self-esteem was shot. All the years of abuse and prostitution took its tool on my and I couldn't function anymore. My life became one big joke.
I worked all my life, since the age of three to learn to fly and know my parents were literally clipping my wings. I was heart broken. I wanted to die. I didn't want to dance anymore. The ONE THING that brought me joy, was bringing me pain. I couldn't dance anymore. Something was holding me back, mentally and my dance began to suffer. You see, to grow in dance, you have to grow spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, etc. Well, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I was suffering, so did my dancing.
By this time, I stopped dancing. I tried to get rid of everything that brought me here. My beautiful face, sculpted body, everything. I had to get rid of it. I wanted to escape another way. I tried to get rid of all signs of beauty. I had to be ugly, because I wanted to match what I felt in the inside.
I felt like I failed, but I did succeed to a certain extent. I lost all dance. I lost everything I had worked so hard to achieve. And I was miserable for it.
I hated myself every day. I lost motivation. I lost life. I didn't know how to live. I was a very unhappy prostitute.
Fast forward to my mental breakdown and self-realization in March 2008 when I finally opened my eyes to the fact that I was ABUSED!
Fast forward to April 2009 when I finally realized that I was a prostitute for all those years.
All I ever wanted was to love and be loved.
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